Dusan Diarys

Where does the time go? It doesn't seem that it was much more than a year ago that we were stood in the registry office in front of nearly 100 people taking our vowels. Yesterday, July 4th, was our 4th Wedding Anniversary. (I say wedding, as Civil Partnership Anniversary does not sound the same and it's not our fault that the powers that be still do not offer us a chance to rectify that).



I woke, unusually early, 530AM, and started my day with a coffee and then once the rush hour was over had to make my way to my Dentist. I have to hand it to him, my fear of the dentist has passed and having a Dentist that invests so much in the latest technology is a joy. He reminds me of Q from the Bond movies, always wanting to show you his latest gadget or gizmo. Today it was a new machine used for injections. You know that feeling as the needle goes in before you get a shot of lignacain? Well its gone. No longer does he say "You'll just feel a scratch", instead, you hear a buzzing, not that different from a sonic toothbrush, that teases your brain into thinking that its about to do something else. You no longer feel the needle. Amazing. For details see www.dental-spa.co.uk Thanks Doctor Cohan Rajan who not only has cured my fear of Dentist's but for being refreshingly new. I arrived, had my Valium with a coffee and then relaxed in awaiting my coronation. Well fitting of a crown! Coronation sounds much better don't you think?



Once my dental was done and dusted I met Dusan for a quick late lunch and then, quick sticks, we had to dash over to Westminster Abbey. Now I have seen the Abbey from the Outside a dozen times but I had only seen the inside via television on occasions such as the Wedding of William & Kate.
Now our very good friend Emily's father was Chaplain in residence at the Abbey for the week and as such had reserved us seats for the Evensong. We met up with Emily and my dear friend John just before 430 and Emily's father, Albert, met us outside and then took us via the Cloisters to his apartment in the Abbey.


We then made our way back via the walkways of the Abbey to the main event. Unlike the tourists we were taken through to to the Choir area of the Abbey along with the High Commissioner of Rwanada. We took our reserved seats in the area of the Abbey where the Prime Minister sat for the recent Royal Wedding.



There was a lovely service accompanied by the Westminster Choir and special prayers for our friends in America celebrating their Independence Day. We briefly went to the steps to see where Kate & William wed, then via the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior. Then through a side door Albert led us through the cloisters to a tiny private garden, within the abbey grounds. As the sun set you could see a tower of Westminster Palace and we relaxed and enjoyed a few glasses of bubbles in the fresh summer air.

As we left, Emily and Albert escorted us to the gate we passed a party in the cloisters and spotted Lord Hull, Lord Ashdown and MP Simon Hughes and then we said goodbye, pausing to take some last minute photos of these iconic buildings as souveneers of our very special day. A huge thank you to Emily & Albert Cadmore for such a lovely day.

Hard to believe its almost been a week since my Darling arrived home. We have enjoyed every minute of today and cant wait to spend every waking moment with him. How fabulous is it to spend every your life with the man you love ?

As the song goes, I left my heart in San Francisco. Well my heart is sailing somewhere around the Caribbean at present. This is the longest period I have not spoken to Dusan since July. Feels kind of weird and I am helpless to contact him by any means other than Email. In a world where we are hooked to our cell phones its weird that he doesnt have one.

Still the trip away has meant that I have been less depressed than I was back home and with the coming of my Village Pride I am hosting this Saturday (2nd December), it should keep me busy and out of trouble for another week and then its the run up to Christmas. In January we will see each other again for another week. I simply cant wait.

I feel like a lost part, I cant seem to function properly without him. Why does it have to hurt so much being appart? I should be happy that his being so strong and doing this for his mother. The pain grows more each day, my heart aches more as time rolls by and slowly but surely its another step closer to us being together forever and for the rest of our lives. I just cant wait.... I want my fairy tale, and my handsome prince and I want him to hold and to touch and to hear and to taste. Is it too much to want the man of your dreams to be with you right now? Dusan Stojnovic, I love you so much, please come back soon. Im lost without you.

Had an email from Dusan today. His found out that as of tomorrow he will be disembarking the Imagination and will join the Glory for the remainder of his contract. He said that its the biggest ship in their fleet and he said he deffinitely wanted to move to a bigger ship. Im pleased that he got the move he wanted and hopefully he will be back sooner than April. I cant tell you how hard it is to be appart from him and it gets harder and harder by the day.

On Saturday, at Sams birthday I did break down into tears when someone was asking me about him. Its like I put on this huge front that everything is okay but down inside I am crying. I just want him back so much. I know he will be back within 5 months, just the cold nights and all the time of work is getting to me! If your reading this baby come back soon. I love and miss you.

You dont really notice how much we rely on communication in the 21st century until you have a moment where you have to go without it. Till the person you love or the friend you need to talk to is so far away that contract by telephone, email, text or Fax is not possible.

We are so used in our modern world of texting someone and getting a response immediately, being able to call someone 24 hours a day and getting through.

That is the hardest thing about Dusan being in the Caribbean. I cant text, I cant call. I can Email and wait till he has a chance to log on and thats it. I am powerless to contact him. Maybe its a good thing? Absense is making the heart grow stronger and all I know is the second that he returns I will do ANYTHING, everything in my power to treat him like the prince he is. To make him laugh every day, to make him smile with my every action and to make him have what I always wanted to have. A Happy Ever After. Do I want the fairytale? You bet I do? Why else would I have worked at Disney?

I seem to have too much time on my hand. All those months I have hardly had a day off work and the minute Dusan leaves it all goes quiet and I miss my baby more and more.

I've not heard from him since Monday so he must be busy with work, classes and passing his exams. So proud of him for all that his doing for his family but so in pain right now that his gone. Its a Month tomorrow since I saw him last. How slowly the clock ticks when you miss the soul that warms your heart.